Funny chat between God and me
By Julia Fernandes
December 17, 2012
(God belongs to everybody. He is the Father of All. People usually have serious questions to ask God. This conversation takes a detour as I attempt to ask God funny and silly questions. This is a pure heart-to-heart conversation and God fields all my questions in His inimitable style, so please enjoy).
God (smilingly): Hello, Julia.
Me (with a big toothy grin): Hiieeee, big Papa.
God (lowering his head gently towards me): How are you?
Me (jumping with enthusiasm): What do you think? Am I fine?
God: Excuse me; you’re not supposed to cross-question me dear!
Me: Sorry, actually, I just wanted to know what you felt about how I felt.
God (with an impish smile): From which angle do I look like a shrink or a mind-reader to you?
Me: Not shrink, but the all-knowing, all-powerful God sees and knows everything. So, you know how I feel precisely at this moment, right.
God (smiles) and says nothing.
Me: See, I was right.
Me: Ok, can I ask you a question?
God (with a heavy sigh of relief): Finally, we are talking! Yes, go ahead. But, you have just five minutes, got to go back soon home. (God looks around and says), you see, the energies here on this earth have become so dark and negative that none of my gadgets work here. See, my phone, tablet, all are showing blank screens. And I cannot remain unreachable from my staff in heaven for a long time. So……
Me: Oh, ok.
God: So, shoot your questions fast baby.
Me: Fine, first question. Do you regret creating this world?
God (with a slow reply): Maybe at some points I do, especially when I see the prevalence of negativity on earth. But when I see the rare glimpses of love, peace and goodness conquering the dark forces I don’t regret. With every single act of sacrifice, heroism, with every beautiful moment of love, with every display of brotherhood, my divinity gets projected and revealed in these acts.
God (shaking his head): Oh, wait a minute, we had a deal. No serious talk. You are supposed to ask me silly and funny questions. You see, am tired of answering such serious questions. I mean, c’mon, even I need a break.
Me (with a big smile): Ok, then here it comes. Don’t tell me I did not warn you…:)
God (with a mock look): Are you threatening me or what?
Me (smiling): Ok, here comes the first. Do you eat, drink, sleep like us humans?
God (shaking His head): Next time I agree for an interview like this, I will first determine the level of silliness of the questions and then answer.
Me: Please, tell na Papa. See, according to the Bible, man has been created in your image. So, if we are created in your image, am sure you have to be like us. Or rather we are like you. You know…
God (again smiling): Uhhh, you answered that yourself. I won’t reveal more than what you have thought.
Me (in all earnest): Ok, got it. My second question is when you get bored, what do you do in heaven?
God (again with an aghast look on His bright face): Are you serious? Do you think with all that is happening in the universe can I get bored? Since the time I have created man, man has kept me on my toes all the time. The earth is a mess and man – a bigger mess.
You’re talking of leisure time for me? Oh Heaven, that was before I created man. Wow, that time was beautiful. Thank you for just bringing back that déjà vu feeling (God with a far-away-look in His eyes).
Me: Ok, come back now, reality check. Third question – do you have favourites?
God: I don’t have favourites but, yes, once in a while, when I have special missions or messages to be carried out in this world, I create special people to execute my tasks. The world terms them eccentric, different, but they are my chosen people. They have special talents and abilities that make them stand out. To the world, they look different to the point of being labeled abnormal, but they are uniquely made by me.
Me (with a wink): Like you created me? People reading this interview might label me eccentric.
God (smiling): Oh yes, like I created you and trust me I don’t repeat my creations. After I created you, I just broke the mould.
Me (blushing and all)
God: Don’t be so happy. I can just about handle only one Julia in this world (phew). Oh Heaven, your five minutes is up. Got to go….
Me: Papa, just wait. Just wanted to say that I love you lot, lot, lot, lot, lot.
God (with a loving look and a smile): I love you, too, dear.
Me: But I love you more.
God (with a deadpan expression): Oh, shut up Julia, you cannot love me more than I love you.
Me: Sorry, I got carried away.
God: And yes, the next time you throw those puppy glances to Heaven when you talk to me via telepathy, can you just cut the drama please? I know you love me and all, but you ain’t no right to emotionally blackmail all of us in Heaven here. I mean even the stars complain about you. They are like, God, when Julia looks and smiles at us in the night, we just…
Me (with my mouth open): just what?
God (with a smile): we just shine and twinkle even brighter..:)
Me (tilting my head): Oh Papa…!!!
God: Oh Julia....!!! We all love you; so be good, and take care of not just yourself but even of the world. Until the next silly interview, I leave you blessed…:)